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11 March 2005
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11.o3.o5mabbie. jux mabbie. y0u have changed. and mabbie. the feelings hav g0ne. and mabbie. 0ne day. we will meet again but when, dat i d0n n0e. but, 0ne i plead y0u. when we meet again, plz. 0h plz d0n try t0 ignite the flame we had between us bef0re. d0n try t0 burn back da h0t l0ve flame we 0nce had. d0n try t0 make dis l0ve st0ry c0ntinue d0n try t0 pick up the pieces which i had left t0 r0t, t0 die. hmm. lets t0k about yesterday fers. was chatting wid him and stuff. den al0t happen in dat mere 1 hour. s0 much happen. s0 much talked about between us. so much. too much dat its starting to hurt all over again. the thought of him not caring has changed. wid his words yesterday. but im doubting. im scared to believe him all over again. im scared he will hurt me again. i cant afford to get hurt again. i wasted my tears last nite, and today morning. i no longer wanna waste my tears. it like last yr, wheneva i get hurt by him, i wudnt cry too much. at least i was able to stop myself. but now, everitink has changed. like wad he said, "you hav changed and so do i". yeah man. i hav to agree. now like, i cant seem to stop crying. den i seem to cry everynow and den. like wad i told nette and mdm suzy "emotionally depressed. emotionally unstable." haas. esp yesterday. i was crying so much. i simply cudnt stop. wad da hell yana. why da hell are you crying over him? is he worth your tears? he is simply not! and he is not even worth ur sadness, wads more your tears. im sorry man. sorry for wadeva i've done. and seriousli. regardless of everitink, i still wanna be your.. fren. and i do rellix hope u feel da same way. eventho u said u do, i hope u meant it frm da bottom of ur heart. and im still hating her. why on freakin earth did she hav to ruin our frenship? y de hell did she had to drive us apart? why did she betray me.? why did she tell you? why is dat our frenship is nt strong enuf.? why aint our frenship strong enuf to stand de hardships? why issit dat u find it hard to talk to mie? am i dat scary? why. why. why. and, why did u hab to listen to her? cudnt u act as if it was a rumour, and ask mie instead. im closer to you for pete's sake. y believe someone u're nt close to anyway..? damn. smart sia. wad rong did i do to deserve dis? wad rong did i do to her dat i gotta deserve dis. dat i gotta lose you cos of her. yea. next time, go ahead. listen to all dis shitheads telling you stories and lose ur frens. so wad if she is telling you da truth?! damn. damn. damn. why da hell were u so happi today? i came to skol, and hugged yaya. den u came frm behind. yaya told mie u were smiling and smiling. hmm. not cos of mie i hope. den recess. had the urge to tok to you. yet wen i walk past, u walk away. u walk to another part. i cudnt even smile. den after the whole recess. was walking towards yaya. den u smile at mie. haaas. wonder wad came over you todaee. den in MT class, you filled my mind. i cudnt wait to get bac to class so i cud see you. damn. man. im starting to miss you. ass.! was so eager to go for physics lesson. den saw you. once oni enuf. didnt wanna look at u too much. later pple realise. hhahas. den was waiting for mr ng. waiting wid j0yce. and you were. errm. wasnt too happie and stuff. cool down aite? den was complaining to joyce about you and our conversation. den as soon as u came in class, i cudnt concentrate. i cudnt complete wad i had wanted to sae. cudnt finish it up. haish. den i didnt wanna look at you. joyce told mie dat u left. den i cud continue. den i turned. and saw you sitting right across mie. wad de? arrr. cudnt continue. haaaas. den tried my best. was so sad wen telling joyce. she was lookin at mie, unbelieving wad he told mie. haaaiiiish. den tell tell storie. den saw u sittin rite across mie. wasnt too happie. den u went to ur sit. was kinda happie. haahas. -bleahx- den i had to go home. den i turned pack. saw u. pretend didnt see. den i was pointing to zhen xu and laughing wid joyce. den walked out and said bye. i tink he was waiting for mie to look at him. but i didnt. hahahx. was jux tinkking bout you boii. haaaa. den went hme. changed. cam bac. saw da whole grp. didnt see you. den walk in foyer. saw u. wanted to say hi. bt u walked alreadii. den jolene ask mie a stupid ques. cos u were walkin infront n mie slightly behind you. she asked mie if i went to skol wid you. wad de hell?! haha. den doing footdrrill. saw yr cca. but didnt see you. always asking myself whether u msg mie anot. but as per normal, u disappointed mie. but i guess i was getting numb towards it. ahahas. den went hme. blah2. msg you. and i dono. i guez im waiting for you to pm mie here in msn. when will it be?! -waiting- *patiently*.. alrite. lets get to the issue. without the -him-. haahas. kkae. erm.. lets see. skool was fun. eng period. i was sitting nxt to yaya. and we had a fun time laughing at the movie. and feeling e "pain" haahas. den mie, yaya and guodong was continousli saying shibaa or sumtink liddat. the badwerd. hahahas. den we greeted him wid da korean style. hahas. chem. thiru came in. so i cudnt reli get noisy. haaha. den recess. den mt. yaya and i was havin so much fun. esp after mt. yaya asked if reza wanted bandung. and he actualli said yes. haahx. reza.reza. yaya and mie was laughing and laughing cos guodong created dat dirty werd. hahahax. -shhhh.- hahahas. wont tell you. =p den yaya was t0king bout her sex band. and i disturbed her like hell. tok bout her stripping off her own band. den. errm. hahahas. i don tink yaya wud b pleased if i say it out. hahas. i wont den. aniway yaya. if u feel offended by it in anyway, im sorie kae? jux playing a fool. hahahas. den phy, guodong was continuosli disturbing her da same way i was. hahahas. too bad. lolx. okiiie la today. den got speech day rehearsal. wah shiok. raining .cool. im rellix proud of my guides now. getting better. mwah guiders. love ya! and i wanan b stern on de sec one's one thier footdril. i wanna guide to be ok in footdrill. no longer de usual lousy ones. hmm. lets hope we can do it. yanacandoit. yeah. goforitgurl. hahahas. till here la... i wanna go sms hiim. =) |
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nor liyana mohd khalis.i'm always in love with pretty boys. like as if i don't learn from experience, i always give in to sweet words. and i never learn from the past. i'm vulnerable to hurt, but i'd like to believe i'm stronger than i seem. jauh di dasar hatiku, aku tahu aku masih kasihimu dan menyintaimu. namun kau sudah berpunya, kau sudah bercinta. disini kita berakhir, tergantung segala cerita dan kisah lama. wishlist
an arsenal jersey please.to watch a play. tagboard
affiliates
ayn
bani
complexite
dynn
erdiah
ekah
fizah
jass
joyce
maz
matt
nisa
nette
raz
yaya |